On and on and on

It's funny, the way that when you have bad news the natural instinct is to protect the person with whom you're sharing it, to soften the blow.

Or, maybe that's just me.

In any case, I find that I've been doing that a lot these days. Putting on a brave face, smiling, making the best of it. Here's what I think: there are times when there is no "best of it", or to put it more bluntly, some things are just awful with no good reason.

This week started feeling like a bad hangover from the week before. Hell, the month before. Changes all around, and none of them feel good. So, I'm doing a lot of waiting right now. Once the dust settles, hopefully I'll have a better handle on what it all means.

And, yet, I still have the strange sensation of being lucky. Of being in the right place at the right time, career-wise at least. On the personal end of things, I'm feeling anything but.

You can't have it all, I guess.

I want simple things, really. Just stability. The ability to see beyond the immediate. Faith in the long term of things.

None of this is looking likely at this particular juncture.

So, in the meantime, I'm trying to stick to all of the other decisions I've been making. And, for now, failing miserably it seems, much to the chagrin of those affected by my choices, I'm sure.

It's a process. I'll get there. Where ever that is.