Motherly advice

On the phone with my mother today: "Normal is a vacuum that just gets filled with more and more shit."

I'm paraphrasing, of course.

Getting it Wrong

It's been a while. A long while. More on that later (which, let's be honest, could mean never).

But, I have been thinking recently about this quote and my re-naming of this blog. An interesting Freudian slip, if you ask me. As it turns out, I'm an optimist in such matters—looking for the possibility of a fresh start in the old, entertaining the possibility that such a thing exists.

Had a long conversation about all of this with SD this weekend, who had an interesting take on things. Namely, regarding the very nature of love and attachment. In so many words she thought that you can't will yourself not to be attached to someone or not to love them, you can simply wish that wasn't the case or not be willing to address such feelings. Which is both somewhat reassuring to think about and also somewhat upsetting. In the end, I suppose, it may simply be a case for cynicism.

More on this later, when my sickness-addled brain is working.

Well put.

"Sorry—am I boring you with this fairy tale romance?"

I shake my head. "I have a feeling you're about to come to a turning point."

"You're right," Oshima says. "That's how stories happen—with a turning point, an unexpected twist. There's only one kind of happiness, but misfortune comes in all shames and sizes. It's like Tolstoy said. Happiness is an allegory, unhappiness is a story."

—Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore

The more things change...

The more they stay the same.

Yes, It's a trite expresson. And, yet, I'm finding it to be true all the same.

To wit: I keep telling myself that I'll write more when I have something to say. The truth is that I have plenty to say, but it's just more of the same. Patterns repeating and all the rest of it.

So, what's on my mind these days? Something similar to this essay, which I wrote about six year ago.

I'm nothing if not consistent.

So there's that.

past all accident.

Read this immediately.

You won't regret it.

little things

Mostly still trying to sort out the past few months. Mostly.

I've started a new project in the meantime, just to focus on the good things at hand and as an attempt to stave off whatever depression may be lurking round the corner. Check it out here.

A small effort, to be sure. But, usually, I find, small things add up—in either direction. So, I'm aiming upward.

Radio Silence

Just to say: I'm taking a break for a bit and trying to clear my head. I'll be back soon, perhaps. In the mean, you know how to reach me.